Look out it's Intactzilla!!

When reading this keep in mind that I'm not judging anybody who made the opposite choice I did. That's not what intactivism is. I'm not attacking your choice nor am I saying you made the wrong choice. I speak out against routine infant male circumcision to inform others, share the facts on the subject, and maybe start a conversation. How you choose to approach the conversation makes a difference. This is something positive not negative. For every 1 person I offend I hope there will be 1 that relates.

"Each time a person stands up for an idea, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance."
--Robert F. Kennedy

It's about the choice. I feel that every choice I have to make for one of my children should be a truly informed choice. Since they can't make these decisions for themselves it's our responsibility as parents to know the risks and benefits of each one. From what I feed them to where they'll go to school. I must be confident in my choices so they will be confident in theirs. Yes I may have to make a choice for them that they will dislike but that's part of my job. If I'm a strong person my children will be also. If I show them how much confidence I have in myself they will be confident people. I have hopes that both my children will be thankful for every choice I've had to make. I want them to be the owners of their bodies and their minds. To not conform to others standards. To have their own opinions and standards. My son might not like the choice I made for him. Maybe someday he'll want to be circumcised. I am so glad that I am giving him control over his body. It's his. I made it. I care for it. But it belongs to him.

"Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you. And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you."
--Kahlil Gibran

Circumcision was practiced as a religious ceremony for hundreds of years, only in the last century has it become a commonly practiced medical procedure. To do it because it's part of your religion or a strong spiritual belief more power to you. I am not religious. I have faith in allot of things but no amount of faith would lead to me to harm another willingly. That's just me. Differences make the world what it is. I've explained to my son why his penis is different than his step dads. Because we are all different. I want my child to be unique. An individual. Small parenting choices that he doesn't like will come in and out of his life allot. And he may not like the outcome of my choices. But I have no right to dictate what he does with his body. You want a mohawk?? Sure. Rock on. You want to walk around with a mustache drawn on?? Giddy up partner. I have taught him that his penis is a part of his body just like any other part. It's not a pee pee. It's not a wee wee. It's not the private part. All his parts are private. I expect him to protect each part of his body eyes, nose, toes, knees they're all his to care for. Circumcision became popular when it was marketed as a way to stop boys from masturbating. Same as female genital mutilation. Maybe it's my inner feminist, or the fact that I'm patriotic, my opinion is this freedom belongs to me it is mine. The freedom to touch my body belongs to me. I don't want others to feel like I think they harmed their children if they had it done. Because I don't. I have no place to pass judgement. I am aware that this might close minds but I know it may open some. Do I care what you decide to do to your sons penis?? No I don't. Do I think it's important for every child to care about every part of their body?? Yes I do. This is our future. This boy. He is my namesake. Let me empower him from birth till he is grown so he will be a strong man, father, leader, and person.

"As long as people believe in absurdities they will continue to commit atrocities."
--Voltaire

How did I become an intactivist?? My sister and I were both pregnant with our sons. I asked her about circumcision, she gave me some research on it I read it. I asked my midwife her opinion. She said "it's not necessary," that's all it took. There were no judging words said. No argument. I knew he didn't need it done it was that simple. It wasn't until people started questioning me in a negative way as to why I didn't, that I became more passionate about educating people on the subject. It's become such a norm. There may be cases where it's medically necessary but I don't think my child should endure painful surgery just because someday that part might get infected. Those cases are so few and far between. I am American. You'll be damned if you see me letting somebody take any part of me or mine for a profit. It's big business. Big dollars. It's become so taboo you can't even talk openly about it with some people. This is a basic human right I'm talking about. Taking away the consent of a child. It's sad that it's become a topic that can't be talked about with out stepping on toes.

"Often the less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it."
--Mark Twain

I'm tired of my intactivism being mistaken for being a fear mongerer. I share my views on tough subjects to educate and inform others. I'll continue to do so. I'll hand out informative cards at the grocery store. I'll wear my his body his choice bracelet where ever I go. I'll give out more cards to moms on Halloween. I'll write the same facts in sidewalk chalk in front of my home. I'll post informative links to articles on my social networking sites. If I can help somebody make this difficult choice easier by writing this than I'll deal with any negativity that may come from writing it. I'll do all these things knowing I'm not doing it to bash or put down others. If somebody chooses to be offended that's their choice. If somebody chooses to think I'm bat shit fucking bananas coo coo for sharing my views that's their choice. I know where my heart is. That my intentions are good. Life is a series of choices and decisions. I'll make mine. You make yours. I'll respect yours. Please respect mine.

"As the body is prior in order of generation to the soul, so the irrational is prior to the rational. The proof is that anger and wishing and desire are implanted in children from their very birth, but reason and understanding are developed as they grow older. Wherefore, the care of the body ought to precede that of the soul, and the training of the appetitive part should follow; none the less our care of it must be for the sake of the reason, and our care of the body for the sake of the soul."
--Aristotle


Facts:
--No medical organization in the world, not even the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends infant male circumcision.
--It only takes 2.3 ounces of blood loss for a newborn to die. 117 baby boys in America die each year from the surgery and more have complications.
--It's easier to care for an intact penis than to care for a circumcised penis. Only clean what is seen. No gauze. No cream. No pulling back the foreskin.
--The male foreskin has more compacted nerve endings than anywhere else on the body. It's not just a piece of skin.

But the most important fact is:
I love all my friends and their children. They are all beautiful. They are all important to me. I respect all of them and their choices.

Bluer than velvet was the night.

I think every mood should have a color. Awareness. Blue seems to fit mine so damn well. I am in no way a parallel person. One side is always a little off. Below every head stone there is a grave and inside every grave there is a coffin and inside every coffin there is a love one lost. And in death you find true love. You can't have one with out the other. And when everything is so dark right now the light will always come. Sense isn't something that can be made. My security is clearly visible. Broke my own heart into 2 pieces. You have to know there is nothing I would not do for you. We always have a reason not an excuse for everything. Reasons can't be made either they are just there. Love me true?? I have so much to not offer. All the unimportant moments are the most memorable. Just moments. If you love something and it just let's you go then comes back commit to it. If you are complete then become empty there is a reason. Appreciation. Trust. If you have faith good things will come. A life is the most valuable thing on earth don't take it for granted.

Madalynn Janel Everill is 1!!

On this day one full year ago we welcomed our sweet surprise baby girl into our home. I labored for 26 hours, pushed 3 times and she weighed 6lbs and 11oz. It's hard to believe it's already been a year since that day. I'll never forget the moment Daddy touched her, then looked at me with pure love tears in his eyes and said "it's a girl" <3 that first day of her life was one of the best days of mine. I remember laying in bed that day, Daddy and I just stared in amazement at this perfect little princess we made. I was beyond thrilled to have a little girl (I was thinking it was a boy) she was absolutely beautiful. Perfect skin. Perfect face. Perfect nurser. Perfect sleeper. Just pure perfection.

I grew up with out a father... That night I laid in bed alone with her while Daddy and Killian were out buying anything and everything pink, I looked at this innocent baby angel, I knew right then that this little girl was going to have everything I always wanted. A strong positive family life. A good Daddy. Love.

A birthday is so much more to me than just a celebration of another year of life, it's the day I gave birth to her. The day that I rode those waves of contractions. It's the day I worked extremely hard to bring her onto this earth. The day I did anything and everything to protect her. Just like I'll do foreverill. I sacrificed my body. I endured intense surges of pain for 12 hours with no pain relief, for her. That day changed me. I gave birth to her at home so we could all thoroughly enjoy her and that day. I look at her now in complete aw. She really is the sweetest little girl I've ever known. We have been so incredibly blessed. This little baby girl has been a joy to take care of. Sleeps well. Nurses like a champion. Smiles and laughs all the time. In the last year I've heard her cry out of frustration maybe twice. In the last week I've noticed her growth and development go high speed. A week ago she started crawling. A week ago she learned to clap. A week ago she started giving real kisses. In this last week I've noticed that she is in fact 1 year old. She talks more and has developed a new attitude. Her personality has become much more noticeable. And she sure does have a big personality!!

I love my daughter so much it can't be put in words. This last year has been truly the best of my life because Madalynn has been in it. I have so many aspirations for her. Such high hopes. I've really enjoyed being her mother. She brightens any dark day. When I look into her big brown eyes my heart melts. When I stroke her soft curly blonde hair my soul smiles.

Madalynn Janel Everill you are so loved. Thank you for coming into our lives. Thank you for being the sweet little girl that you are. Thank you for being my daughter. Thank you for being you. You are something special. I look forward to many more celebrations of your life. I am going to raise you right and give you everything I never had. I love you so much baby girl!! Happy 1st Birthday Shmaddy!!